Status Update – Why I hate Bankers & Financiers

So, I have been rather quiet on the brewing front – not through any fault of my own, mind you.

For those in the know, I have been rather busy trying to finance our brewpub. I completed our bankable feasibility study (A.K.A. Business Plan) roughly about two years ago and have been trying to raise the capital we need to execute the plan.

What a f@rking nightmare.

I am used to working with big capital projects in my professional capacity and as such am quite used to compiling these feasibility studies from an engineering perspective. It is a very different kettle of fish if you want to do this in the private sector with our laws as they stand today in the good old RS of A.

First off – let me state – no venture capitalist (if you are very lucky to find one) will go near you if you cannot contribute at least thirty percent of the upfront capital required for the project. No problem – go to the bank to raise capital against your property(ies) – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You can forgive me dear reader as I pick myself up off the floor with that last statement. Each and every bank that I have spoken to in the RS of A (the ones that are commercially sound), will not give you anything like a letter of guarantee that you can use to raise the funds you need. This was something they used to do in the good old days. Not anymore. What they do now is – re-mortgage your property. So you pay f@rking again for money that you might not get.

The next problem comes up with the so called AA partners. Don’t get me wrong – these b@stards are just middle men skimming the cream off the top whilst actually doing bugger all except being “connectors”. They contribute exactly nothing but want to eat from the same bowl, so to speak. It reminds me a bit of those bloody money lenders once the sh@t hit the fan in the Rustenburg area. And trust me – they are all bloody schemers. I have met enough of them to know that there is no goodwill among them.

So where to go next and how to approach it.

Well, we do have a blessing in disguise here in the good old RS of A. We have that blasted power utility called #EISHKOM. You see, they have unwittingly created a very niche market with their professional attitude to not maintaining their equipment and happily bankrupting the books with their accomplices the #ZUPTAS. What does this mean? Their equipment is breaking down left right and center. This means we get load shedding. This also means that when they do switch the power back on, it is not at the greatest quality and it destroys peoples’ electronics.

This is not good for the populace of SA, but it is great for me. Now I don’t mean to sound condescending, but when last did you see an actual electronic repair shop? I don’t mean the guy on the street corner that professes to repair your phone screen.

I have had enough colleagues and acquaintances approach me to fix their consumer electronic goods after having been destroyed by #EISHKOM.

In the beginning, I only asked for a case of #beer for my time and that the poor soul pay for the parts. Then I found out that the butchers in the various townships are charging ZAR1000.00 just to look at the device. Trust me, I can safely call them butchers as I have repaired more than enough of these boards after those b@stards have had their hands on them.

So, with this in mind, an idea dawned on me.

First, lets just look at the stats for this year January 2019 – March 2019

  • TV’s repaired – 26
  • Microwaves repaired – 6
  • Electric fence energizer boards repaired – 4
  • Audio visual amplifiers repaired – 8
  • Access control boards repaired – 3
  • Battery chargers repaired – 2

Now, I am sure that you understand that I cannot accept #beer for the repairs any more. Even I cannot drink that fast. And as an aside, all these repairs are done after hours.

So, for my brainwave.

I am going to start a You-Tube channel where I will teach people to to repair these poor devices. Yes dear reader, I will teach you the black arts of electronics for free. I will keep the math as simple as possible and only use it where absolutely necessary. I will review a South African #craftbeer with every video. I will make it humorous and of course there will be rants about all sorts of things.

I will however have to charge for the repairs. I think a service fee of ZAR500 excluding parts is very fair. All the money that I raise from this endeavor will go into our capital fund for #FoulkesBrau.

With that being said, all the filming equipment has being ordered and now I am at the mercy of the blasted post office. Let me not start a new rant.

Your comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated down below.

Cheers in beers



  1. Dave Starley says:

    I fully concur with your sentiments young man and you propose a very interesting way forward.
    May it work out for you and be as successful as it possibly can be…!

    • Craig says:

      Ta Dave,

      I think that we have to stop avoiding the elephant in the room and actually start talking about the things that are wrong in this country. Mature, adult logic conversation may hurt, but it sure as hell gets the solutions on the table.

      And there are two things I can talk about – #beer and #electronics



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